HayU Blog

I am writing this blog post on the second Friday of February when approximately 80% of people have given up on their New Year resolutions. The running app Strava places this date even earlier. It has officially named the 2nd Friday of January "Quitters Day," given how many people abandon their fitness goals by then. 

What makes us abandon our goals so quickly year after year? 

I suspect that it has to do with when and how we make our resolutions. 

First, the when. While the launch of a new year seems like a natural time to make new goals, there are a few reasons why it is less than ideal.

When we make New Year’s resolutions, most of us sit down at the end of one year and take stock of all that has gone on that past year. In doing so, we often ignore the reality that trying to distill an entire year's worth of ups and downs in our relational, work, educational, and family lives into a few resolutions is near impossible. Our memories are usually able to identify trends (say, "I didn't exercise enough last year" or "I consistently didn't put enough time into studying for my major tests") but we are far less adept at identifying the bottlenecks and obstacles that resulted in these trends. We tend to be more confident about how accurately we can identify the cause of past events than we should be, a phenomenon known as hindsight bias. 

But while looking back is difficult, accurately looking ahead may be just as fraught. This is because the context in which we plan our resolutions often differs from the one in which we execute them. We often set out to make New Year's resolutions during the festive period, a context that looks drastically different from the rest of the year. We then overestimate our time and margin in the coming year, and our resolutions are unrealistically optimistic. 

If you are neurodivergent, time blindness often exacerbates your ability to visualize your future self and your capacity to follow through. This often means that your resolutions end up being unachievable. 

And so, like clockwork, we abandon our resolutions. We fall into the same routines we committed to changing until the next New Year rolls around, and we try again. 

I'd like to suggest some alternative approaches. 

What if you set your plans and resolutions in February instead of right at the start of the year? That way, there is a better chance that life looks more like it will for the rest of the year. After several weeks in a new role at work or into a new semester at school, you will likely have a clearer idea of what the demands on your time look like, your energy levels, and your overall margin. That may prove to be a better starting point for planning. 

In addition, when you make goals, consider a shorter time frame to achieve them. Rather than planning for year-long goals, how about quarterly or even monthly goals? That way, these goals are bite-sized, and the period you re-evaluate and course-correct is less impacted by how far back you can remember. The goals from month to month (or quarter to quarter) can be relatively similar. You could even have them build on one another. Breaking the year into chunks also allows you to consider the reality of different seasons that may adjust your plans. Students may want to ratchet up their goals in the summer months when they have more time. Meanwhile, parents may need to dial down their goals in the summer months, given the extra time commitments of having kids home. 

Lastly, you may need reminders or some accountability to track and achieve your goals. The cognitive load of daily life can easily cause us to forget about our goals. Placing a vision board or daily reminder where you can see it each day can help you keep your resolutions in mind and help you make conscious decisions during the day to meet them. You could also consider asking a trusted friend, family member, or an executive functioning coach to check in with you each week and help you evaluate and remain on track with your resolutions. 

If your resolutions have been withering away, consider whether some of these ideas might bring new life into them. 

By Hunja Koimburi, M.A.